Weekend Writing Warriors: 1/31/16: Serving the greater good

Happy last day of January! Days are lengthening. Soon this cold stuff here in the northern hemisphere will be a memory. Until then, settle back with a cup of your favorite drink and read the fun excerpts at Weekend Writing Warriors. Just about all genres are covered ๐Ÿ™‚

Posting from my novel-in-progress, working title Night Shift. Devorah hasย passed on information to the angel Adrael about some sort of shake-up being planned at high levels of the demon hierarchy. She also mentioned that she heard something that might lead to finding out who really killed her father and why. When she asks Adrael for help with that second thing, he tells her that whatever the demons are planning is a bigger concern. She asks if they can investigate both. Adrael is the only speak in this excerpt; Mr. Barsukov is Kazimir, her mentor, who is also in the scene. In six sentences, too!

โ€œPossibly, however, it must be understood that at any time you may need to fully involve yourself in the larger matter. Personal affairs must always remain second priority.โ€ He raised a hand when I started to speak. โ€œAllow me a further moment. I recognize that your fatherโ€™s passing was and continues to be a crucial driving force in your life, even as you work alongside Mr. Barsukov in the Crosser mission. I remind you that such investigations do not serve the greater good, to which you have pledged yourself.โ€

You can find previous excerpts here.

I’m still working on aspects of the plot. I’m posting chapters at Scribophile. The story is told in first person from Devorah’s POV, and it’s a good thing I’m getting feedback on this draft because I didn’t realize that some parts are so deeply in Devorah’s POV that readers sometimes get confused ๐Ÿ™‚ Some stuff that’s in my head didn’t make it onto the computer screen ๐Ÿ™‚ I think that’s inevitable for most writers which is why we need critiquers we can rely on.ย Writing is a fascinating process. Sometimes, when I’m able to spend concentrated time writing, I get as tired from thinking as from physically exercising!

Thanks for visiting. It’s always a pleasure to have visitors.


17 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: 1/31/16: Serving the greater good

  1. We are getting the rules squared away. ๐Ÿ™‚ I like that you interrupted the dialogue to insert Adrael raising his hand to cut her off. It was a good visual–and gave a break in a long stretch of dialogue. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Do you like Scribophile? I’ve belonged for a long time and I still haven’t critted anything.


    • Thanks Reesie! I do like Scrib. There are pros and cons about every group but overall it’s a good place. I’m a member of the subgroup called the Ubergroup. It’s good for me because the Ubergroup focuses on good work ethics so if I want crits, I have to be disciplined about not just critting my team members, but producing chapters on a routine basis.

      Jerry runs the Ubergroup, he’s our beloved Uberlord ๐Ÿ™‚ Membership in the subgroup is limited because members are vetted and a lot of time goes into making sure members are getting what they need.

      I pop into the general forums, too. It keeps me connected to a wide world of writers which is a wonderful thing. Scrib does not accept underage members – that gives the site a different vibe. It works for me.


  2. Interesting piece. I liked the flow of the dialogue and how you inserted a brief interruption. Like the comment before me, it was a good visual and it was a natural break in dialogue.

    Also, I couldn’t help but notice that the comment above said you were on Scribophile? Me too! I’ve been a scribbler for over two years now.


    • Thanks Kim. Adrael is fun to write. Usually writers work on condensing and tightening their writing, but with Adrael’s dialog, I do the opposite! Kind of helps me think about what’s unnecessary in dialog and what isn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds like a huge commitment. And he is making sure she knows all the rules before anything goes down. Great snippet! ๐Ÿ™‚


  4. Adrael has a strong voice, though I must say he comes across as a bit of a … I don’t know the right word. A prig? Someone who feels the rules are more important than even the most important emotional event in her life. I hope he loosens up.


  5. I agree I like the gesture in this scene. I also wonder if he has something to hide regarding her father’s death and that is his real motive behind stopping her investigation? I will keep reading. ๐Ÿ™‚ Great snippet!


  6. Thank you, everybody, for dropping in. I appreciate your comments, and am pleased you’re enjoying the excerpts so far. Devorah realizes Adrael is right, but it’s easier for an angel to do the right thing ๐Ÿ˜‰


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