Weekend Writing Warriors: What the hell was that?

Well friends, I hope whatever your current season is that it’s treating you better than spring in Western New York. Outlying areas may see a freeze tonight. *sigh* Today was rainy, gusty, and chilly–but on the upbeat side, I’ve spent the afternoon editing/revising additional chapters of my novel-in-progress, Night Shift, from which I present 8 more sentences. Oh dark fantasy’s not really your thing? That’s cool, visit Weekend Writing Warriors for excerpts from the whole range of genres. A bunch of us share snippets and comments every week. Seriously, other than writing, it’s the most fun I have in the week!

Skipping ahead a bit, Devorah and Kazimir are returning to their apartment. It’s late at night. Being humans who are also demons has disadvantages: you never know who or what might be lurking in the shadows, waiting to spring with weapons conventional or otherwise.

When we turned onto our street, I scanned the nearby porches, knowing Kazimir would be keeping an eye on the spaces between the parked cars we passed. He’d taught me a few tricks in case anybody tried to grab me but it was best to avoid trouble. Human thugs weren’t all we needed to look out for; rival demon groups had been known to attack each other.

My gaze was drawn to a porch across the street. Something lay on one of the steps, a deeper black than the surrounding shadow. It oozed up onto the porch floor and disappeared.

My eyes popped wide open. “What the hell was that?”

Probably something unconventional! Maybe don’t cross the street, ya think?

I expect to have 27 chapters once I’m done with this draft, and I’m on chapter 21 today. I’m still focusing on the plot rather than the prose, because it’s annoying to craft gripping or soaring prose only to cut those scenes because the plot has to be changed. Wish me luck! Thanks for visiting today, your comments always make me smile 🙂

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19 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: What the hell was that?

  1. Yeah! What the hell was that?? Good job showing the reader the scene, Marcia. Creepy creepy on the neighbor’s porch…

    Our weather? 41, windy and rain. Might be some snow by morning. Seriously, half way through May…and snow. Oy!

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  2. Teresa, thanks! Characters who have unnatural neighbors might come across creepy things! And I’ve been snowed on in May before, it’s just not fun. Hope the sun comes out soon for both of us.

    Ed, it’s a bit of foreshadowing. Some high-level demons have big plans and they’re starting to act on them.

    Kim, thanks very much! Things begin to escalate from here.

    Christina, it is exciting but I know I’ve got some hard work ahead to make all the scenes sparkle. You know, coming up with better descriptions and narrative that feels natural and easy yet grabs readers from beginning to end. Like I said, hard work!

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  3. Certainly creepy to picture the blackness moving – it makes me think a bit about the movie Ghost when the demons from “below” came for the bad guy.

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  4. Aurora and Veronica, thanks very much. One can’t be too careful in those circumstances.

    Chelle, how nice to see you 🙂 I’ll take that comparison with a smile!

    Nancy – LOL! I adore your reaction! Thanks for commenting!

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