Weekend Writing Warriors: You spent time in hell

balmy palms
Photo courtesy Flickr cc; Marc Cooper, Balmy Palms

Hello again, friends and followers. It’s time for another post for Weekend Writing Warriors, the blog hop where writers share up to 10 sentences from an original work of theirs then hop around to visit and comment on each other’s excerpts. Fun? You bet! Fantasy to historical to romance to sci fi, we’ve got it!

Background for this snippet: Devorah and Kazimir have gone back to their apartment after capturing a high-ranking demon at the angels’ request. Kazimir engaged in some, well, behavior during the capture that wasn’t agreed upon . He and Devorah are visited by a “supervisor” angel who reads Kaz the riot act. He says he had a perfectly good reason for what he did, and was planning to explain. The angel called Nanshi is the first speaker here. You can find previous excerpts here.

“Seeking permission after the fact has never been acceptable. Nor has allowing personal revenge to take precedence over Crosser directives, which you clearly have been planning to do for some time. You spent time incarcerated in hell because of misdirected personal motives, is that correct?”

I could hear the clock ticking from my bedroom down the hall. Finally Kazimir said, “I wouldn’t exactly call it that.”

“You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, which does not seem to be occurring. We placed great trust and confidence in you, Mr. Barsukov. While you have served well, you have also made a series of decisions, capped by these most recent, that lead us to question your integrity.”

Ooops! These angels get pissed. Hopefully Devorah will also learn something from this . . . ya think? –Nah, where’s the fun in that?

Treated myself to a hot fudge sundae Saturday evening, because 85 degrees; that’s about 30 for those of you who do Celsius/centigrade. I will never complain about heat or humidity again, no sir, not after two record-breaking winters. I love summer anyway -smile-

I write in Word with each chapter in a separate file. I recently compiled them all into one file and the word total came out to a little under 83k. Not too shabby for a first novel, particularly since I’m still tweaking it. I’m purposely leaving some room because I’m sure there are places where more worldbuilding needs to happen. I used to think I had a fair sense of what was necessary in my stories and what could be left out, but have realized that’s so not true. In a broad sense, yes, I can tell which plot points need to be fully shown and which can be condensed, or that some scenes have too much dialog. But pinpointing exactly which sentences should be deleted, or which should be expanded on, is actually not an easy thing when you have a whole novel to think about. There are so many nuances affected by what a writer leaves in or takes out. I’ll be glad to get other eyes on this thing!

If you’re in the U.S. and celebrating Memorial Day, be safe. This weekend tends to bring out the “firecracker crazies.” And spend a few minutes contemplating what our military service people have given up because they went out to do what you and I couldn’t–fight real battles, face real bullets and bombs, conquering their own fear in the process. My father served in World War II. He refused to talk about his experiences except to say he saw horrible things. It must have given him the dark edge we saw from time to time. How different would he, and so many others, have been if war had never happened? Worth thinking about.

Thanks for visiting my blog, I appreciate it.


10 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: You spent time in hell

  1. You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, which does not seem to be occurring.

    I love this piece of dialogue, Marcia. I can smell the dusty, stale courtroom in the words.

    Nicely done!


  2. This conversation isn’t going so well from Kazimir’s standpoint! Interesting excerpt. Re the book, are you having beta readers and an editor look at it – not yet obviously, but when it’s ready? Fresh eyes always see things the author misses…which leads to more edits LOL.


    • Hi Veronica 🙂 Kaz can be his own worst enemy! I have two people who are willing to read the whole manuscript but I could use more readers. I’m aiming to finish the current draft in a couple of months. I know there are additional changes that’ll have to be made, I just can’t see ’em myself.


  3. Great snippet! It’s never a good idea to get on the bad side of an angel… Though it’s a lot of fun to write about. >:) I keep forgetting it’s Memorial Day for the USA, and I hope that you and your family have a safe. enjoyable time. 🙂


  4. You are a fun loving nut, today and that’s a good thing. i cracked up over the hysteria in the angel’s tirade. Ready to blow her stack! Really Marcia, this one is so much fun. Super day today with love on top from your good buddy, Charmaine


  5. Kim, thanks, Nanshi doesn’t let Kaz get away with anything although he does try!

    Amy, thanks for the good wishes. I’m having a ball with these characters, revisions honestly don’t bore me.

    Charmaine–LOL! Big hugs to you, woman! Sure hope you’re feeling more like yourself every day.

    Ed–LOL! Nanshi kind of kicks his ass in the full scene, but he deserves it 😉

    Christina, yes he has. If he wasn’t involved in something very important right now, he wouldn’t get off as “easy” as he does.


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